Dreams Employment Personal Blog pleasure Success

Love, Lust, Hate.

At the tender age of twenty-eight I have an outstanding resume. (Or so I have been told). The various employers I had the opportunity to work under, made me realize one thing. I HATE working for other people. You know that moment, when it’s the end of your shift and you have the benefit of counting down your register, only to realize, you’ve made more money in one shift for your employer, than you make in one paycheck for the whole week… Ummm. Something’s not right. I would say my “inconsistencies” in my job placements tell a story that HR Representative’s always seemed to overlook. Clearly I wasn’t happy at McDonalds, I wasn’t valued enough for the work I did as a Medical Assistant, Working at a call center was never my calling, Being a Shift Supervisor at Dunkin Donuts left me with no free time, (someone was always calling out sick and I lacked the ability to say no). Bagging groceries at Hannaford was just not my thing, and Starbucks felt like a betrayal due to my unnerving loyalty to Dunkin Donuts and it kind of interfered with something I thought would be my lifelong career. (Turns out it was just another trial job). I’ve had the lovely pleasure of Waking up in the early mornings, Overnights left me sleep deprived, and afternoons just felt like my whole day was spent making money for someone else. Who never found it necessary to show his or her face and a simple thank you would have been the extra push I needed some days.

One thing for sure, I always fell in love with my dreams. You know the things that bring you the most joy? The very things you tell yourself you will work on after you get home from work, but by the time you get home, your hungry, tired and just want to take a hot shower and go to sleep. How many people do you know that have given up on their dreams, because they need to make money? The very thing you would love to do takes time, dedication, motivation, and A LOT of sacrifice. Unless you have the luxury of coming from luxury your dreams are most likely just dreams.

Job after job after job. and yet I still can’t find a place I can wake up to consecutively for five years or more and be happy. Although my dreams have stayed the same, the opportunities to work in the field I love just aren’t there. Or they are, but they are limited and require experience that I don’t have because you can’t get experience without someone willing to hire you on without experience. Orrrr… another annoying thing, you need a degree, which takes 2-4 years and school unfortunately doesn’t pay the bills. So a 2-4 year program will take about 4-8 years to complete, for someone like me the sole provider, and no financial help. I was not born into wealth, I was born into a system that purposely holds you back. (But that’s another topic).

Jobs today require a number of skills for a number of years that you could only get from job training. Back in History if you were a shoe polisher, you only polished shoes. Today they require you to know how t polish shoes, make the shoes, tie the shoe strings, and come up with a marketing strategy for selling the shoes, as well as work the register and count it down at the end of the day. The tasks were simple, the work was not hard, I mean if you had a talent you got paid for that talent. If you knew how to build toys you became a toy builder. If you knew how to plant flowers, you were a gardener. Today, technology has evolved so much that natural talent doesn’t just get you the job anymore. Anyone can do a worldwide “how to” web search and be given the instructions on how to. Along with video’s for our visual learner’s, not only step by step instruction, but you can physically watch how to produce a project/product from the comfort of your own home. For FREE!

Sometimes I wish I could go back in History and live in a different era. Where jobs were based on skill and natural talents, where rent was nowhere near $1,000, the cost of milk was 14 cents, and the cost of living matched the majority of wages. Technology was meant to make things easier. The easier things got the lazier people became, the greedier people were, and eventually just putting food on the table became intangible. People were ultimately looking for a way out and a quick extra buck, because you could no longer go to your boss and tell him or her that your family is struggling and they willingly give you a loaf of bread.

My My How Times Have Changed. Take Me Back, Tell Me Whose To Blame. Erase The Records, Rewrite The Scenes. Make Us Whole, Remove The Greed. For Thou Shall Sin To Make Ends Meet. Forgive Me, Forgive He. I Dream With Love, I Lose With Hate. Lust Is Wrong And So Is Greed.

xoxo ; Jay

1 comment

  1. i Love Working For
    People i Hate Working

    For Things
    After 3 College
    Degrees Happy

    For Almost
    Two Decades

    Just Making
    Folks Smiles
    Handing out
    Shoes Running
    A Military Bowling
    Center Yet the Last

    5 Years
    Of ‘Upward
    Mobility’ of
    Big Pay Behind

    A Computer
    Out Of 33 Years

    Of Work
    No Real
    No Colors
    No Flavors of Life…

    Eventually The Stress
    Of That Almost Killed
    Me Shut-in Ill With the
    Worst Pain Known to
    Humankind Type 2
    Trigeminal Neuralgia
    No Drug Would Touch From
    Wake To Sleep like A Dentist
    Drill In Right Eye And Ear For
    66 Months



    53 Years
    Old When

    The Pain
    Went Away

    i Decided To Dance
    Everywhere i Went

    It only Took About
    A Year Before i Was
    Notified by the Audience
    i Was both Famous And
    Folk Legend By Passerby’s


    Of Their Car Windows
    Now in 14,177 Miles
    And 88 Months

    Of Public



    Joy is No
    Less Than
    The First

    Without Pain

    And That Legend
    And Famous Business
    Feels No Different

    To Me

    Eyes Exchanged
    Serving Rental Shoes
    To Hundred Of Customers
    Every Week For Almost
    20 Years Watching Families
    Grow From Childhood Through


    For You

    See Behind

    That Counter

    Just Listening

    To Everyone’s

    Life Stories Without

    Much Said Was Excellent

    Preparation With Around

    100,000 Or So Folks

    To One




    Of My Very

    Own No Fiction

    Indeed Just A Life

    Of Creating Smiles

    And Emotionally



    i Met/Meet As if

    They Wear The only

    Face Of God Eternally

    Then And Now in The

    Moment Forever No

    Matter Who They

    Were/Are As

    i Am Doing

    Now For You See

    Young Woman Inspiring

    To Be A Creative Writer

    It is Not Who You

    Touch Later

    That Counts

    Now Obviously

    So that’s All i ever

    Focus on As A Smile

    Is The Only Real Reward

    That Is Still For Giving





    As A Human

    Being Fully Breathing

    And It’s True i Will Always

    Have To Wear Shades To

    Help Avoid That Pain

    From Coming




    Had No

    Choice Yet

    Then To Turn

    my Smiling Eyes

    Into Words Now a

    Collection Of Smiling

    Eyes in Words Literally

    8.8 Million Words

    Long literally

    Just a Copy

    And Paste

    Of Free Verse Poems

    Just Like This Inspired

    By Thousands

    Of People

    Like You

    All Around The

    Globe in 88 Months

    Yet See It’s also An

    Excellent Way To

    Rest My


    From The

    Dance oh By

    The Way i was

    Born Autistic



    Speak Until

    4 Yes i Figured

    Out A Way to

    Do It


    To Earn

    3 College


    And Well Enough through

    A School Life Where

    Peers told Me i Was

    A Weak Ugly Boy

    Who Stuttered

    Who Looked

    Like A Girl

    Who Did

    Not Deserve to

    Exist They Called

    Themselves Christians

    They Threatened to

    Beat me Up

    Just Because

    i Smiled All

    The Time

    And Was Happy

    The only Jesus

    i Met At Church

    Or School Was

    My Mother

    My Sister

    And My Dog

    Yet You See i

    Didn’t Become

    A Villain Like

    Trump And

    Some of

    His Followers

    Those Same Bully

    Boy Onward Christian

    Soldier Marching Bully Boys

    Who Crush


    In Insurrections

    To Destroy Democracies

    While Shot on Fifth

    Avenue Dying




    In Unmasked

    Mobs In Walmart

    Still after Those

    66 Months

    Of A Disease


    That Disease

    Is Literally


    Worse Than

    The Torture Of



    Than Likely

    You Were Raised

    In A Christian Church

    By The Color of Your

    Skin not to Stereotype

    Type Yet Your

    Comment About

    Lust Being Wrong

    Is A Clue Oh

    By the Way

    As Science

    Shows Lust Is
    A Main Source
    Of Creativity For Males
    And Social Cooperation

    To Prove They
    Are The Most
    Nurturing To
    Attract Who They
    Desire So Yes A Best Way

    To Control And
    Subjugate Others

    Is To Make

    Call Words
    Idols of God
    Abstract Concepts
    Folks Create As Tools
    To Slave The Nature

    Of Other
    For ‘Trump’
    Purposes through

    The Ages



    If you’ve read
    ‘The Book’ There

    Are Two Ways
    Of John 14:12

    A Greater
    Hell For 66
    Months Versus
    3 Days And Not
    Giving Up And





    You’ll Get The

    Job of Heaven

    On Earth



    Of Years Later

    Nope my



    A Responsible

    Man Not Someone

    Who Puts Something

    Off For 2000 Years

    While Folks




    And Trump

    Bring Frowny

    Unmasked Faces

    To Destroy All Joy

    OBTW at

    60 And

    243 Pounds of

    Martial Arts And

    Ballet Leg Pressing

    Up To 1520 Pounds

    All Naturally


    Is What

    You Have

    To Do to


    The Right

    To Even Smile

    And Hehe Public Dance

    A Free Style Ballet

    And Martial Arts


    In Trump



    the Moral

    Of This True

    Story Don’t



    A Hero And

    Always Save

    Your Self


    A Smile

    For Others

    See No Other

    Human Face

    Or Less


    A Grain

    Of Sand
    As Less




    Do Love

    It’s All That
    We Truly Exist

    For All


    Breathes God For
    Real Write A True
    Story Worth Breathing

    Create a

    Out of Hell…

    This is What Love

    Does Just For Free

    Love Needs No Likes

    Shares or Follows



    No Worship

    On Bended

    Knee No

    Fear Of Criticism

    Love Stands Tall

    As A Lion Walks

    With Grace



    If Anyone

    Dare Take Freedom Away

    God FlieS on Eagle’s Wings… 🦅


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